diff --git a/homepage b/homepage index 53a32c2..e12d3c0 100755 --- a/homepage +++ b/homepage @@ -525,6 +525,152 @@ pre { /* DRY who? */ } +/blah/2024-05-09.html + +: poetry i wrote while high at work + +we're gonna end up +the lesbian stereotype: +two girls "friends with benefits" +sharing an apartment and a life +- +my gloves smell like you +you forgot to give them back +and left them in your car +I won't wash them. is that wack? +- +you said my eyes were pretty +I said yours were too +your green eyes dilated +when they met my hazel hue +- +one time we kissed in your car +but then you worried that I'd leave +because friendships last forever +but our loves don't last a week + +our lease goes on five years +and we're sharing a 1-bedroom +and when the dawn shines in the window +the light seems to bend towards you + +I +when the driver raises his hand into the cabin air +and the thumb is pointed up and index pointed at you +and one hand is on the wheel the other reaching behind +but then the pointer jerks up and the driver says boom +when your pistol's in your holster and your holster's at your hip +and nobody paid to train you so you fiddle with the piece +but the gun goes off and there's a bullet in the door +you know this job won't end without you meeting the polive + +II +hit & run & come & go & shoot to kill & hit the floor +& smash & grab & dash & fuck the pigs are here man + +[jan][ali], [o][kama] +[jan][ali], [o][kute] +[tan][pali][sina][li][pona] +[o][tawa][ala] + +I had too much last night (I feel like shit) +and I'm so dizzy in the morning (yeah, I'm still feeling it) +the hands on my watch keep making their rounds +watching me (I woke up wacked out) + +maybe I had too much last night +water isn't helping my skull feel less tight +I'm dizzy and unsteady and I keep falling down +it's my own damn fault I woke up wacked out +senses wrecked I reckon time is slipping in its place +every moment lasts forever but my watch says it's so late +if this is my due reckoning I'm sorry it had to come now +because I was so fucking high in the sky that I woke up wacked out + +III +all we are is two old country folks +in this big ol' city bar downing two rum and cokes +I'm flirting with you as you flirt with my demise; +holding my wrist up to your blade while I gaze into your eyes +IV +when my blood runs down my arm, babe +don't you dare waste a drop +put your red lips up to my crimson vein +and drain me + +I +you hate it when I call you baby +I hate it when you call my phone +you say it's infantilizing +I say we should talk when I'm stoned +II +when we went to the pub together +we asked if our warmth would last forever +but in our hearts didn't last the embers +why do we go back to this cask to remember +that + +V +no, it could never be that easy +don't even dare to hope +Spy Vs Spy washed up in Reno +emo, I put vodka in my cappuccinos +at the bar +VI +and all we are is two old country folks +in a big old city bar drinking two rum and cokes +and if I slipped a poison drip, dropped into your draught, +could you slip a tab into a kiss so I forget you not + +we're in a cloudy parking lot +looking through the windshield at the twilight +at the clouds in the parking lot +X +in a cloudy parking lot +snow falling from the sky +the dusk already fallen +and the phosphors shedding light +the smell of freshly fallen +chills linger in the night +you pull your arms together +pretending you don't have moistened eyes +the silent snow deafens us +and both our ears so loudly whine +I trodded thrice and then I turned back +and I softly asked you why + + +/blah/2024-05-08.html + +I should be less heteronormative, cisnormative, and mononormative. It's kind of +funny that I am sometimes all of these things despite being gay trans and poly. +Well, my polyamory is complicated; I'd be totally fine dating multiple people +but don't have the energy to be able to spend on something like that. +Functionally it's more like nihilamory, like I'm nihilamorous. I've dated +multiple people before and it kind of sucked but that was on me. I'm rambly +because I spent the last couple days between high and nearly sober. It's harder +to doubt whether or not I am gay (I fuck chicks) or "validly" trans (I don't +give a shit) but I do feel weird calling myself poly when I have the capacity +to date 0 people right now. + + +/blah/2024-05-07.html + +: in the wee hours of the morning... + +I'm in the car with people I know very well on cruise control at 80MPH heading +to the Denver International Airport to send one of our vessels on its way. I'm +thoroughly caffeinated and 210 minutes before a shift starts and got blazed +last night and am still feeling it a littlw bit. + +I got my ClockworkPi uConsole and it is my daily driver. It is a really +excellent solid piece of hardware, replacing the Aspire One comfortably. It's +an upgrade in terms of portability, durability, compatibility (USB-C instead of +barrel jack charging), and especially power consumption. The keyboard is slow +to use but I can dig out my HHKB for long term typing and the trackball and +ABXY are very comfortable to use. + + /blah/2024-04-18.html First doctor's appointment since 2022 or so, which doesn't seem like a long