From 5699298e12ae4c57a581af22a9fa9a2faee298d8 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: DTB Date: Sun, 14 Apr 2024 21:56:53 -0600 Subject: [PATCH] 2024-04-14 --- homepage | 166 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 166 insertions(+) diff --git a/homepage b/homepage index 363d13d..bab93f8 100755 --- a/homepage +++ b/homepage @@ -525,6 +525,172 @@ pre { /* DRY who? */ } +/blah/2024-04-14.html + +I saw bad stuff on the Internet yesterday and I wanna write about it. I at one +point had more to say but after some research I don't believe my point still +stands (I was going to argue that pedophilia, though much less common than it +used to be, is normal in our society; after reviewing statistics and +definitions I wouldn't say that is true). Here are some well-cited statistics +because otherwise my research would go to /dev/null (my brain only): +I Merriam-Webster defines pedophilia as "sexual perversion in which children + are the preferred sexual object"; specifically "a psychiatric disorder in + which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a + prepubescent child" (). +2 Pedophilia is evidently common in the present day; nearly one in six men + surveyed (15.1%) of 1945 in a 2023 Australian study anonymously + self-reported sexual feelings towards children (). +As a side note: I skimmed the study and statistics collection and the survey +questions all seemed clear and direct. The results are much more damning than I +would expect. I remember, before this article came out, reading that one in six +men were pedophiles, but most figures I can find on-line are much lower, +particularly ones that are not the results of studies but instead speculation +by authorities. + +I think people who sexually abuse children should be slaughtered, ideally +publicly. I don't believe in rehabilitation for child molesters. I'm not picky +about the means of doing so and I wouldn't prioritize "humane" (quick) methods. +ISIS-style beheading would be fine. + +When I was 15 I knew someone my age who believed they were a prostitute and +regularly did cocaine; now I would call that child sexual assault and providing +drugs to a minor. She was socially isolated. I helped her with her math +homework in class and in a level in which we were expected to graph quadratic +functions on paper she was struggling with the concepts of variables and +exponents. The teacher in the class felt she was simply lazy - which is much +worse to me now than when I was in high school - and couldn't spend time +helping her understand these concepts. My peer wasn't able to stay after school +to catch up and even if she did I don't know if I could have at 15 taught +someone through multiple grade levels of maths. Her academics were being +jeopardized by her guardians who were either negligent or complicit in their +child being pimped out and given drugs. I don't remember if she graduated. + +Child abuse leaves very deep scars. She wasn't the only one I knew who was +abused but her story ("her story" - I sound like a fucking prick. She was cool +and we hung out in the field during Gym and talked about the drugs we wanted to +try) stuck with me as particularly sad. Some of the people I knew who were +abused went on to needlessly harm others, perpetuating a cycle of abuse. Others +became social workers - hopefully, helping others work through their own +trauma. + +This is what I remember when I see people on-line sharing not real pictures, +but drawings of child abuse, often idealizing the acts depicted. "Loli" and +"shota" porn coats in sugar some of the shittiest possible things that can +happen. Perhaps this isn't a revolutionary take; hopefully it is the most +common opinion on the matter. Children should be protected from harm. Imagery +that portrays child abuse as anything but horrifically evil is created and +shared by people who either don't understand the gravity of what it is they're +sharing (i.e. people who are minors themselves) or subhuman filth who should be +put before a firing squad. + +There's this one board on a chan site that focuses on drawn, sexualized gore. I +don't really care to write about "guro" porn because I don't have gathered +thoughts on the matter or the ethics of its consumption. I find it nearly +impossible to browse the board because for every ten drawings of adults killing +each other in coitus there is one cartoon of a minor doing the same and, like a +bird hitting a pin feather when preening, I feel a sudden, sharp pain in my +heart. This is the area that used to feel empathy and now rarely lights up +anymore. I remember the hollow stares of some of my friends coming in to school +from the morning taking the bus from their personal hells that they called +their homes. Then I close the site and never go back to the thread I was +reading. I've done this about three times, each time returning after a longer +period than before, and yesterday when it happened again I closed the site and +I'm not opening it again. Honestly I should have known better than to return +after the first time. + +There's a chan site, wirechan.org, that unlike the last one is actually good +and tends to have good people posting. Recently it was raided by a horde of +wild... pedophiles? I'm not familiar with that part of the Internet and don't +wanna be. Someone found a murderu.us XMPP advertisement I posted somewhere +(if I recall, wirechan/b/), joined #subgeneral, and wrote something in the chat +about sexually provocative kids and a -9 months age of consent. I learned how +to ban users and added more admins in case something like that ever happens +again, and I'm thankful pedophilic imagery wasn't posted in the chat. This is +why you can't put image uploads on murderu.us - I don't want CSAM on my server. +Immediately after they started posting, people in chat were making fun of them. +After they were banned the digs at what they said continued. murderu.us +participants are cool. + +I know pedophilic content is common on the Internet where scum can collect in +moist, dark places and send spores drifting around the open air of the web that +give people the occasional fungal infection or lung condition. I know +pedophilia is common even among real human beings. I just have had a hard time +with this knowledge and I wanted to write about what about this was hard for me +to understand and why I get so angry at pedophilia whether demonstrated or +glorified. I've been in a bad mood today and I think these two things I saw on- +line were a part of it. + +I've been trying to use shorter sentences and more punctuation to try to make +my writing more coherent but I'm not sure if this blahpost reads easily. I +think it would be hard to misconstrue my points though, which I wanted to be +sure of because miscommunication here would be pretty awful. + + +/blah/2024-04-13.html + + ona | it +li lon | is + + lukin | to the eye +la | + ona | it +li lon ala | is not + + ona | it +li sona | knows +e ni | that + + jan | people +li moku | are food +tawa ona | to it + + ona | it +li moku pona | eats well + + ona | it +li | is +lon ma lawa insa | in the inside of heads + + isipin | thought +li pali | creates +e ona | it + + tenpo ni | now +la sina sona | you know +e ona | it + + tenpo ni | now +la ona | it +li sona | knows +e sina | you + +o kon. o pilin e lawa sewi sina. ni li pona. ni li pona anu seme? o isipin ala +e ni, tan tenpo sina li lili mute. o tawa. sijelo sina li kalama. sijelo sina +li wile e tawa ala e utala ala e kon ike ala. o utala e wile pi sijelo sina. + +there's this void inside that loves me +and it once wished i were well +and it's this void that's inside me +that's just there causing my deepest hell + +it's silenced all of my cries +when i've tried to scream for help +but i still think i kinda like it +because it loves me like no one else +no + +the lattice of its chaos marches on so far away +laying groundwork for my madness so that i know what to say +its rehearsal of internal conflict causing me slow decay +is etching my destruction onto the surface of my brain + +That poem isn't complete nor are any this is BLAH we PUBLISH UNFINISHED WORKS +up in this bitch take yo ass back to SUBSTACK + + /blah/2024-04-12.html I'm high as hell.