diff --git a/homepage/blog b/homepage/blog index 21ec5b2..6f5eb7c 100755 --- a/homepage/blog +++ b/homepage/blog @@ -5,16 +5,14 @@ cd blah sed '1,/^exit 0$/d'<../"$0" | python -c "import sys for day in sys.stdin.read().split('\n\n\n'): with open(day.split('\n')[0],'w') as f: f.write(day)" -sed -i 1d *efix; sed -i 1d *ffix -for f in ????-??-??; do #nt worry :) +sed -i 1d *efix; sed -i 1d *ffix; for f in ????-??-??; do #nt worry :) sed '1i'<$f|sed -e '1r 0000prefix' -e '$r 0000suffix'>$f.html rm $f; f=$f.html; test -n "$last" && sed -i \ "s,__NAVIGATION__,$nav\>
," "$last" \ && nav="\<"; nav="$nav^" -last="$f"; done -sed -i "s,__NAVIGATION__,$nav
," "$last"; rm 0* +last="$f"; done; sed -i "s,__NAVIGATION__,$nav
," "$last"; rm 0* ls *.html|sed 's/\..*//g'|tee feed.xml|sed 's_.*_&_'\ - | sort -r |>index.html sed -e "1i\ + |sort -r|>index.html sed -e "1i\ blah\ 
.." -e '$a
' sed -i \ @@ -49,6 +47,57 @@ __NAVIGATION__ +2023-02-21 + +Lifetime performance review + Presentation - 3 + Reliability - 5 + Attitude - 4 + Multi-talent - 3 + I can't remember the fifth thing - 4 + + Tried to get blazed for the first time. Smoked a bit of a joint, then a +roach, then a lot more of a joint, and nothing happened. + + +2023-02-20 + + So I finished deleting `devenblake/homepage' and walked back to the +gas station as my phone died, bought two Twinkies, and sat outside the gas +station eating them. I watched people come and go and then went back to the +festival in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't really sure where I was but I +figured it didn't really matter. + + I laid back in my bed. I was in my teens, I don't remember when. I had +a glass of water and I had my instant coffee and I poured enough instant into +the cup to substantially thicken the water, to the point where it was more like +soup. At the time I did the math out for the caffeine and landed at 2.4g. I +assume that's a gross overestimation and it was 2.0g or a little less. Either +way, I'd already had a lot earlier that day, so it was more than a human being +could survive. + But at the time I didn't know that. I sipped the bitter sludge and +watched cartoons until I noticed my arm tingled. Illuminated by mecha fights +and animated machine guns I watched my left arm twitch and sputter and the +muscles give into the voidal fabric in which I was swimming. Something was +wrong. I did the math out on the caffeine and realized I had had too much. I +went downstairs and started chugging as much water as possible, pissing, +chugging water, pissing, repeat, repeat, repeat. Probably I had two or three +gallons in half an hour. + As I sat on the toilet in late night early morning silence I stared at +the space in front of me and into the cosmos. And I stared at my cold +fingertips and my polished arms and porcelain hands. And I stared into the +bathroom mirror and inspected every pore, every hair follicle on my head, every +speck of color in my iris, how very big my pupils were. I felt my brain hit my +head and my thoughts drain out of my nose. And my metal torture. And I drank +and pissed and drank and pissed and collapsed in bed and knew I wouldn't wake +up and fell asleep and felt peace. + And I woke up. And I went to sleep. And I woke up. And after summer +ended I went back to school. And after school ended I went to my place of +residence. And some summers later I left without shedding a tear or scratching +regret. And I don't swing my left arm when I walk, and I think I know why, but +I don't know why. + + 2023-02-19 deep in the shadow the cage in my chest