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@@ -1928,6 +1928,174 @@ If I don't, escalate the issue to the host of this site (this can also be found
 </HTML>
 
 
+/blah/2023-10-04.html
+
+2023-09-28 I woke up a little after midnight at my workplace to my coworkers
+finishing close. I put my backpack on and scooted out and down the hill to find
+the old lookout point one of my former roommates had mentioned once.
+
+The path was blocked by three boulders placed so as to prevent automobile
+through-traffic. I walked by them and up the hill through the path. The
+streetlight faded behind me and soon I was alone among the dark silence save
+for the chatter of the crickets and varied twig-snapping of unseen nocturnal
+creatures, the friends of Nowhere, Maine.
+
+I came to a pile of strewn trash among, if it had been warmer, which would have
+been flies I suppose and bits of nastiness that are begotten by nastiness.
+Hoping this was the only bit decrepid in this desolation I walked further. It
+was cold and I was tired so when I saw the needles and blood I made no reaction
+even after my slow realization of what had happened there.
+
+It was not a place of honor, there was nothing to be had or found there, and
+had I known better I would have fled immediately to avoid the fate that had
+befallen what was left of whomever that had found ruin among the brush and
+uncaring wilderness. This was the fate of the addict when they find an
+apathetic owner of a chainsaw and these were the pieces that, should I chose to
+indulge in mainlined drugs, will compose myself as well. Dogs or cats or foxes
+or wolves had got to what was left but what had happened was apparent. The baby
+stroller and diapers and formula pouches told the rest of the story. I stood
+for a while comprehending this mess, processing without being able to process.
+Nor it being safe to do so.
+
+My grandmother has no sympathy for addicts though even she wishes they'd get
+better and supports the free dispersal of naloxone for those that need it. She
+doesn't see why an addict should redose rather than purchase warmth or water,
+not to mention inhabit a crack shack rather than find work and hearth and life.
+She's smart. She's never looked down drunkenly at an empty bottle or
+experienced lethargic purple haze and stupefied daze that accompanies the
+shortening of a rolled joint. She's never craved a cigarette like I have. She
+couldn't imagine it. She couldn't imagine my knowing the feeling. She can't
+answer my questions for her - how sober lukewarm shelter could compare to pure
+happiness coursing through a vein, or how hydration could compare to not
+needing to care about any need, physical or emotional. Perhaps money can't buy
+one love, but there are things a person enjoys more. At least at first.
+
+I've been through the downward spiral slipping from shelter to smaller shelter
+like a sieve, looking only for acceptance and a place to sleep and finding
+scarce the former and only more expensive the latter while my pay doesn't
+increase nearly as quickly as the cost to live. One shot would kill me years
+later after hundreds more, perhaps not as directly the first as the last, but
+the first would be my death all the same. I know this. The sound ice makes when
+it hits water and feels the sharp difference in temperature accompanied by the
+whoosh of butane and naked laugh of the crazed fiend hungry for more pleasure,
+more solace, a hoard of catharsis never to be experienced, only kept like a rat
+keeps food for winter, and the drawing in of the needle and the flick and snap
+of the glass and rubber band and push of it in and the mind out and let the
+reason bleed out of you in transparent drool and snot and let the eyes droop
+and heart swell with unearned passion. As much as it would be my comfort then
+it is my recurring nightmare now. And it's not inevitable, because I will make
+it out of this hell before it chains me and loses the key.
+
+Hyperlinks relating to moulage
+
+https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/narrenturm
+https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moulage
+https://www.unmc.edu/newsroom/2014/01/07/unmc-history-101-medicine-in-wax/
+https://blog.unmc.edu/2013/09/04
+	/dan-brick-lays-the-foundation-for-realistic-simulation/
+https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bd
+	/The_Dead_Pearl_Diver_by_Benjamin_Paul_Akers_2.jpg
+https://www.aoc.gov/explore-capitol-campus/art/ulysses-s-grant-statue
+
+Hyperlinks relating to CrowPi2 programming
+
+https://github.com/WiringPi/WiringPi
+http://wiringpi.com/examples/blink/
+https://github.com/Elecrow-RD/CrowPi2/tree/main/known_issues
+https://github.com/Elecrow-RD/CrowPi/blob/master/Examples/segment.py
+https://www.adafruit.com/product/877#description
+https://github.com/adafruit/Adafruit_LED_Backpack
+https://cdn-shop.adafruit.com/datasheets/ht16K33v110.pdf
+http://wiringpi.com/reference/i2c-library/
+
+[Xlib](https://www.x.org/releases/X11R7.7/doc/libX11/libX11/libX11.html)
+
+
+/blah/2023-10-03.html
+
+everything sucks so fucking hard
+
+So. Roommates got evicted. Seeing the writing on the wall I packed my shit up
+and left. Now that my repack's done I am now comfortably contained in a
+backpack with strapped on sleeping bag and scooter on my shoulder. Where to go
+next, though, was complicated.
+
+2023-09-26 I got out of work and went back to my roommates. They were squatting
+and for lack of space elsewhere I slept in the kitchen in my clothes and jacket
+next to the litter box. The cats kept staring at me. It smelled like shit and
+piss and the cats would paw at the litter to toss it on me. I got an hour of
+sleep and went to work early.
+
+2023-09-27 I got out of work and scooted up the street to a Dollar Tree around
+which I scooted and found a nice clear area behind a railing next to a parking
+lot. At work I had debated leaving the scooter. It's weight and something else
+to carry. Eventually I just brought it though and it lay next to me in the
+brush.
+
+I laid out my sleeping bag, opened a book on my tablet, and silently and
+comfortably if a little bit chilly read Hulk comics until I heard a distant
+yell.
+
+You mother fuck!
+
+I looked up but I couldn't see the source.
+
+Get out of here!
+
+Perhaps it was voices. Perhaps it was a trick of the air. I laid back down. I
+was wearing all black and my bivy was green against the olive brush. They
+couldn't see me.
+
+I see you out there! If you're still there I'm going to fucking kill you!
+
+Night had by this time fallen. I sat up and got out my telescope.
+
+At work I had also considered leaving it behind.
+
+Two camoflouged cameras against the walls and two doors. The second one opened
+and then closed. I was visible and I had probably been made. I began to pack my
+stuff, quickly. Then the SUV arrived. Black, big, and it circled the parking
+lot like a cat about to pounce on me. It's at this point I strap my sleeping
+bag on halfway and with a glance at my former spot I got on my scooter and
+sped. It started following me.
+
+I scooted for a cliff, jumped off my scooter and jumped down onto the wet grass
+sliding to a stop. I took the time to strap the rest of my sleeping bag on and
+then from that ledge jumped down and scooted down a side street. Left. Right.
+Left. Right. Left onto Lisbon St and eventually I was back at work.
+
+[10:46 PM] trinity: outran an suv on a kick scooter
+[10:46 PM] trinity: i am so swag
+[11:03 PM] [..1]: i read that in your voice and it made me smile
+[11:05 PM] [..2]: gayass
+
+I was huffing and puffing and tuned my UV-5R to the county dispatch but there
+was nothing, city dispatch is encrypted and I don't wanna bother figuring it
+out so I assume whoever was after me was not police.
+
+2023-03-06
+
+post meta coital meta cigarette
+pixelated bodies having meta sex
+meta kids meta hacking both our meta eyes
+peeping meta Toms in the same meta lie
+
+
+/blah/2023-09-26.html
+
+01	"It's pretty nice." Nice didn't begin to cut it. In fact, it was the
+most beautiful wax sculpture I had ever seen. It depicted a life-sized nude
+woman with intricate detail: hair so fine you could trace individual strands
+down to their split ends, make out the scoring of her flesh and the lines in
+her palms - including wrinkling that on the animate would indicate lack of
+moisture. "Why the injury?"
+
+3: Is your dog nice?
+?: All dogs are nice.
+3: Like. Can I pet your dog?
+?: That's up to the dog.
+
+
 /blah/2023-09-25.html
 
 horizontal six letters; poly pollinators