diff --git a/homepage/blog b/homepage/blog index f58316a..2c0bbba 100755 --- a/homepage/blog +++ b/homepage/blog @@ -47,6 +47,276 @@ __NAVIGATION__ +2023-03-05 + + What's the best $100 you've ever spent? + +pages from my journal (all from 2023-03-04) + +my mind is in the forest exploring glaciers' vestiges + my body is in a city bound in chains + my mind is in a prairie and touching tall grass + my body is in a steel room in a concrete building + all i feel is typical serenity + as i am slowly disassembled +fuck off out of my lump of meat + i did not permit the use of my thoughts + running thru my fucking neurons + using my synapses to cross the fucking street + get out of my head get out of my head + stop talking right now i swear to god + i need to get some fucking sleep + they record my phone calls + i will fucking kill you for violating my rights + stop distracting me messing up my count of sheep +solid state speed control? + piss! + in my mouth! + warmth! + trick'ling down! + all the ammonic + tides of the ocean + and the salt beach + shore when you take too + long and the seventy + sides and emotion + and the salt cream + odor when you take too long + so if you will torture + my toothpaste tongue + with an unwashed pipe + finish the job and + piss! in my mouth! +journal but written + [drawings of cats next to the phrase "geometry cat"] +[drawings of mice] + [repeated drawings of the same square shape with "follow" pointing at + it] +i'm really tired + fallin' asleep in da + burger king lobby + DREAM --- + [stick figure next to exclamation point] + [stick figure next to question mark] + [stick figure pulls out phone] + [phone zooms in] + [text message from [...]: hey i just downed a monster do u want 1? :) + nah (sent to [...]) + thx 4 offerin tho (sent to [...]) + [stick figure holding phone saying "[...]'s drinking monster?"] +[drawings of curvy triangles] + grub muff tough stuff + rough hug butt munch + chug bug jug tug + crumb lump duff cuff +[drawin of snail] +cursive test + I like joining letters with loops but it's hard to write and not easy + to read so what's the point + would be cooler if [...] was here + I just head a GBA start up jingle + my handwriting is always messier after I try cursive +big day for the tow truck industry + +pages from my journal (all from 2023-03-05) + +[stick figure with ponytail and hat thinking "smoochin'"] +ur good i'm still vibing i just not sure about family stuff? + mint condition kitchen + never lived in living room + clean plastic wrapped sofa + market friendly tomb + [...] is my favorite character so this is sort of like fanfiction +[stick figure looking at fourth wall next to question mark] +[drawings of triangles] + thanks for your adaptability + national treasure 2: international loot + + Gas and meals probably summed to $100 this weekend... + + +2023-03-04 + + 0230: 16 more hours... + + You think really loud, Anon-kun... + + I'm so exhausted. I need to stop smoking. I'm not eating anything +because it takes my appetite, which is nice, but it's taking my energy too a +little. + + I don't want a place at which I live. I've had dozens of places at +which I've lived. I want a home! + + Nechan, I wish we could have done all the things we said we would. I +would have liked that. You deserve better than me. + +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk +kkkkkkk I fell asleep on the keyboard. + + +2023-03-03 + + Trinity day! + + Who's on first? Maybe I am. + + +2023-03-02 + + Now listening: Tomb - Angelo de Augustine + +Service: last.fm - trn1ty + + You load sixteen tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in +debt. + + Got myself addicted to smoking green tea. It doesn't help that it's +really cheap and understudied so the health drawbacks are unknown and debated. +Kicked nicotine though. + +Sent SMS to [...] at 2023-03-01T23:06:20-0500: +post office scary. working for The Man. The Man pays well though and usps needs +the hands... + +Received SMS from [...] at 2023-03-02T06:45:02-0500: +That was poetry + +2019-03-26 + +I played this game when I was little + and it was a little too violent + my parents tried to hide it + because it "wasn't for me". +The confirmation sound haunts me + the sound of success daunts me + I can no longer visualize myself winning a stage. +Now I'm sitting on the deck + without my phone or my new tech + and I'm sitting with myself + in the quiet. + +2019-03-25 + +I've dicted my distrust +of the dicting of the youth +now I'm dicted to the lies +and I'll never know the truth +this pencil is a fag +and I burn it day and night +watching it run dry +gives me a new height +I'm dicted to the lies +and they're better than the truth +for the lies give me warm comfort +while they tie the noose. + +2019-09-25 + +every time i see her +my face not only lights like an incandescent but burns +brightly, the tungsten coil's temperature rising but not towards its melting + point +and i cannot utter that magic, four letter word +and hell, i can't really say whether it is that magic word +or a million other four letter combinations +but my god +i cannot help but smile when i see her +and i cannot help but feel happy to see her +and i wish i could have a thousand more moments just like that +and maybe i will +and i cannot utter that magic, four letter word +and hell, i can't really say whether it is that magic word +or a million other four letter combinations +but my god +i cannot help but smile when i see her +and i cannot help but feel happy to see her +and i wish i could have a thousand more moments just like that +and maybe i will + +2019-10-28 + +There was an Ook +there was an Eek +and they clubbed each other for dino meat. +One wore leopard and the other wore hide +and neither of them were much for talking. +For while they used to enjoy fresh car rides +the streets were no longer good for walking. +the Good Uld Illord worked the skies +wanting for greener days +while Ook and Eek hit each other +competing to send GUI its praise. +The fallen towers surrounded their brown playfield +as our fighters swayed to and fro +but the computers needed entertainment; +after sentience they didn't know where to go. +Some processes cried for Ook and Eek were inhumane +others wished for their quick death to lighten the burden on the mainframe. +Whatever happened to Eek and Ook, I wish them both the best, +and whichever is the survivor better clutch that dino breast. + + High stakes slumber party. Comfort mandatory. Be on lookout for police. + + Who spilled pop on my keyboard? + + This is the best my future's ever looked. Am I naive to think this +isn't a mirage? + + Restructuring my life on a "maybe". + + I don't want to be an Internet meme! I don't want to have existed as a +short-lived joke and I don't want my primary value to be as a memory. I want to +live my fucking life and have fun and do whatever I want! I don't want to write +for money or influence, I want to write because it's fun to write! I don't sing +at work to boost others' morale, I sing at work to boost my own. I am going to +do whatever the fuck I want to, off-line. I'm not gonna be cut for time, or end +a conversation because my ride is leaving, or be late for anything for any +reason besides my own. I am going to be true to myself! + + +2023-03-01 + + I was a security guard in a hospital watching the cameras and making +sure nothing was wrong. I thought about my kids who were at home with my +husband who took the day off, I couldn't remember why. Then everything faded +out and I was in the chair and they had drawn my blood and I had passed out and +I was back and I was me and I was never a security guard and I asked if I had +had a seizure and they said no I just passed out. + + 2023-02-28 2022年05月06日 @@ -1933,7 +2203,7 @@ Except straws, I love straws. Now reading: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychochemical_warfare> -Service: Soundcloud - trn1ty +Service: Soundcloud - trn1ty I had a dream last night I was walking in my neighborhood when this bald eagle swooped down to attack me. I happened to have a baseball bat with me