From fb3e964af42163a3650ae96b9aa7444f6207189c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: dtb Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2023 19:15:20 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] it's tomorrow in kazakhstan --- homepage/blah/index.html | 251 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 251 insertions(+) diff --git a/homepage/blah/index.html b/homepage/blah/index.html index 6fa91e4..4b55c25 100644 --- a/homepage/blah/index.html +++ b/homepage/blah/index.html @@ -16,6 +16,257 @@ ideas' witlessness; ideas' witnesses; ideas- +2023-01-05 + +2021-07-07 + +Antero + A person woke up wrapped in satin sheets, head atop a comfortably +stuffed pillow. They remembered the two most important things: Take the pill. +Check the book. + The book. Where was the book. Their room came into view. A wallpaper of +lilacs on a cream background. Large windows, nearly floor to ceiling. The book +was to their left. + June 1, 21XX. Ah, the first of a new month. Funny how that happens. +They quickly flipped to the front. EDWARDS Eugene \ Class: Well-to-do. Ah. +Well-to-do. Well in-deed. + The last thing Eugene Edwards remembered was sitting in a pub in, oh, +what year is it now? 21XX. So 40 years prior; sitting in a pub, having a pint +of whatever happened to be on tap at that point. No televisions. No televisions +at the bar. There were people on phones though. Eugene watched them, thinking. +Kids on their phone. Is it a phone? Are they still phones nowadays? Fuck it. +Phones. Just about the same anyway. + The kids were on their phones scrolling through memetic imagery like a +hundred years prior back when lead and fluoride and Donald Trump and quantum +computers and oh god think of the children were on people's minds and when +those were the only just about the only things on people's minds no +cognitoviruses no hazards just green grass et cetera. A hundred years prior. +Eugene wasn't there, nor were Eugene's parents, nor grandparents. Eugene's +great grandparents were alive though. Given the plastic content in the +grandparents' bones, Eugene figured the times were not great. But maybe they +were okay. They could have been okay. + The concrete age. + Eugene was watching them on their phones. Whatever the fuck those +hipsters used. And Eugene watched the kid on the left, or the right - the one +farthest from the exit - Eugene watched them drop their phone, suddenly, and +tense up. Like getting electrically shocked. All their muscles tightened, their +face got red, their veins got big, like Rob Muscanis doing a dead-lift. Then +the kid passed out. Passed the fuck out. Then the same thing happened to +another kid and slowly as the kids checked what was on each others' phones it +rippled out. + Cognitohazard. That was what it was called. A memetic cognitohazard. +Sweeping the god damn planet. The Indians and the Koreans both denied it was +them immediately though they were under the closest scrutiny; India in +particular had been known for trying to manufacture cognitohazards for military +use. And all this investigation (in the wrong places) while it took kid after +kid. And killed them! A fucking memetic image. + That night was when Eugene learned about Antero. + Antero is an experimental (now not so much) drug aimed at preventing +the formation of new memories for 24 hours after ingestion. It's usually taken +in the morning; available to every class and every body free of charge from the +government not out of nefarious purpose (though that is questioned daily by a +number of folks more than suspicious of the UPK's leadership) but out of a +great need. Without Antero, fuck. Antero turns the permanent death of a +cognitovirus into a temporary absence from the brain of the user. Antero is the +penicillin of the twenty second century. Thank your local god for Antero, then +thank the drug company that came up with it, Gokko (pronounced "gohk koh") +Pharmaceutical. Then, of course, thank the Japanese. + Eugene took their first Antero the following morning, and by the looks +of Eugene's book of short term memories gone long term gone gone, Eugene had +taken Antero every morning since then, for the past forty years. Well, +thirty-six years technically, thirty six years, three months, and a day. Eugene +figured most people would be afraid to wake up forty years older (especially +given that Eugene was just about reaching UPK life expectancy of sixty-four). +However, Eugene did not have emotions; Eugene was technically a psychopath. +Though this word is antiquated now and will be far more antiquated by the time +this story occurs; psychopathy is not a real diagnosable medical condition, +rather a collection of common attributes, and the term is hampered by a very +strong connotation that psychopaths are violent and compulsively homicidal. +Eugene was neither. + Eugene's book was written in a somewhat different way from their usual +writing. At least that's what they figured at first look. On first glance, the +entries were scrawled quickly and looked dirtier than their usual work (or +their usual work of forty years' prior). Done so to save time, probably. And +the entries were bulleted and abbreviated. "I went out for dinner with Laura. +She seemed happy and has just gotten engaged to the kind-hearted and hearty +mutual friend of ours Brian." becomes simply "dined with laura. now eng. w/ +brian"; "laura" and "brian" both hyperlinks to the relevant written profiles +within Eugene's book (mentioned entry dated January 8 and both profiles updated +automatically with this information at the same time). + So, what to do today. 21XX-07-01. Go to work at Rogo Corporation. Job +is to supervise the automatic production of electric machetes and rapidly debug +errors. At nine hundred hours, attend meeting determining scope and cause of +formula errors in accounting department, and consequences. Okay. Eugene got out +of bed, went to the bathroom, brushed their teeth, and did other usual +activities similar to one does in the bathroom. Then they put on a +tight-fitting black collared t-shirt, light and thin dark blue jacket, and +black jeans, and walked downstairs to hail a cab to the tallest skyscraper in +their city. + "Memes", viral thoughts, have existed for millennia. As the time taken +for a thought to circumnavigate the world decreased, the sheer amount of memes +increased. The printing press, telegraph, telephone, television, all +accelerated the travel of memes. However, the mass popularization of the use of +the Internet mainly through the world wide web in the early twenty-first +century predictably spawned an unprecedented environment in which memes could +form, pass through the minds of millions of people, and die, in the span of +hours. This was the perfect petri dish in which cognitoviruses could evolve. + Cognitoviruses, or memetic cognitohazards, are self-propagating mind +worms that often interfere with the capability of the subject's brain to +accomplish tasks necessary in order to think. The first cognitoviruses were +temporarily distracting and rather harmless; for example, a game where, +whenever one thinks of it, they lose, which is in turn unwinnable unless the +subject never knew of the game in the first place, but of which the subject is +compelled to tell others, is a very classic example (and one that was popular +on the Internet through the mid 2010s). As research into the phenomenon of +cognitohazardous materials and the memetic transmission of cognitohazards +evolved, cognitoviruses were developed and published that began to circulate +through popular communicative Internet services, and soon became a "meme" +themselves. + It was in the late twenty-first century that a cognitovirus was +developed that was, more or less, lethal, and theorized to be the work of a +state military though the true origin is uncertain. And Antero sat as a +published paper and niche-market drug, usually applied in the treatments of +mental illnesses such as post-traumatic stress disorder or depression. In the +week following the release of the first lethal cognitovirus the usage of +communicative Internet services plummeted, meanwhile Gokko Pharma's valuation +increased fifty-fold. And so the world kept spinning. + Antero. Eugene needed to take the pill. They were halfway down the +stairs from their rented living space before they remembered and had to walk +back up. On the other side of the bed from where their book was. A blue bottle +with white cap; inside, a dozen or so green pills. Eugene dry-swallowed one and +went back down the stairs to the street to find a driver. + + This is not nearly my best writing. I thought 七月 was June, the +description of Eugene is so bland yet so pseudo-edgy. I like that Eugene uses +gender-neutral pronouns but that was because of my misunderstanding of gender +in which I thought such a thing was ridiculous and everybody should be neutral. +I like the idea of memes as weapons and still think about it - I used to do +stuff like that (and that's all I can say about that). But I think this style +of narration sucks and the world described was excessively bland - intended to +be British but without much subtle charm that colors the otherwise gray world +of England in media. It's nice that my writing's improved so much in 18 months +- or maybe I'm just not divorced far enough by time from what I write in this +blah to see the glaring flaws. + + I'm gonna have to put pipes at the start of the next one's lines +because it's reliant on the structure of the text - I can't just indent each +paragraph and shove it together to indicate relation between segments like I +can when I put random snippets of writing in here. + +2021-08-12 + +|Anonym's journey to the center of the universe +| +| began on 31 september 2021 in the town of little rock maine. anonym +| went to a big franchised or whatever drugstore to buy a coca cola. then they +| went to check out but they noticed no registers were open. yet the store was +| still open, and there was a worker there striding around the registers +| +| "hi, I'd like to check out please" anonym +| Worker: "Yes, that's for what I'm here." +| "well, ah, where should i pay for my cola?" anonym +| Worker: "Please use the self-checkouts." +| "i don't really understand how to use the automatons" anonym +| Worker: "Yes, that's for what I'm here +| I'm here to show you how to use the self-checkouts." +| "alright" anonym +| +| anonym learned to use the automatons to complete transactions +| +| "so, what do you think of coca cola? what sodas do you like?" anonym +| Worker: "I don't know. I drink any beverage." +| "you don't have a preference? even something you like more than others?" anonym +| Worker: "No." +| +| anonym left the store and continued their journey to the center of the +| universe + + That one was basically just a transcript of an interaction I had at my +local CVS. I hate my local CVS. + +2021-03-05 + +The Journey + Kenan Gleick woke up on a Tuesday morning, in a town neither you nor I +have heard of, Michigan, to a soft roar emanating from outside the room in +which was the bed in which he'd apparently slept. He recognized neither the +bed, nor the room, nor the view outside the window, nor, upon putting on the +clothes in the mahogany bureau next to the bed (business-casual khakis, a pair +of sneakers, and a black "Thanks for the toast!" tee shirt) and looking up at +the mirror above the bureau, himself. + He pocketed a cheap multitool on top of the bureau. He knew who he had +once been - a cashier at a local supermarket - but it didn't seem relevant to +who he was now. His palms had worn since he'd last seen them. He crossed the +hardwood flooring and opened the white door before entering a hall, painted a +diseased maroon, to find what appeared to be a handyman or some other sort of +contract laborer grinding through the drywall with a rotary saw. The man turned +off the blade and stared at Kenan. "That room was just empty." + "Sorry." Kenan quickly walked into what was marked as a stairwell and +treaded down the stairs until he came to the sign indicating the ground floor, +where he broke into a jog and quickly made it outside the hotel before anyone +could ask any questions. + + I remember thinking about this one but I don't know what it was gonna +be about. This is also probably the earliest piece of writing I have saved on +my computer. There are really old ones that maybe I'll dig out at some point +but I've already pasted three here for today and I can only bear so much +embarrassment at the writing of my 17 year old self. + + The trinity.moe/blah chronological cut must be so confusing to watch! + + I found an ancient blog of mine from when I was a kid. + +2016-04-09 + + Today we didn't have school because it's Saturday. I went to one of my +friend's birthday parties, [...]'s, to be exact, and I got him a Nerf Elite +Dual-Strike. It was a Nerf party, by the way, and it's no mystery of whether +Han or Greedo shot first. I did. I also met up with my (old) friend, [...], and +shot him. It was kinda boring today altogether though. + +2016-04-11 + + School was nothing special today. I've been trying to think of a +YouTube video to make. I've been getting vlogger's block. It's weird. Also, I +heard of something I think everybody should check out - a petition asking +Blizzard to stop trying to sue Nostalrius. Sign it! Please! + +2016-04-16 + + I didn't post anything for the week, since I was so busy with school, +but now it's April vacation so I can blog all I want. My favorite Minecraft +server, play.prxcraft.net, is shutting down on the 20th. + +2016-05-24 + + I've been busy this month. It's just too much, especially with +volunteering and all the other crap our school makes us do. Meh. Another day, +another blog. Another Weebly site to watch is AnimeFreak. Weebly's doing +something stupid so that entire sentence was linked. Enjoy. + EDIT: I linked the word now. Just the word. DEAL WITH IT. + + Somewhere along the way, probably inspired by Paul Graham's blog, I +learned it's less interesting to write about what you /do/ (unless what you do +is absolutely fascinating, which most of the time it is not) and more +interesting to write about what you're /thinking/. + + About a month after these I started on a webcomic which had the writing +quality of CtrlAltDel and a slightly better art quality than Arson Comics. It +had various unfunny jokes about virtual reality (which I had not yet tried), +self driving cars (which did not yet exist), arcade machines that could play +every video game ever made (which I didn't know existed), and the usual +violence-as-a-punchline, a hallmark of 00s and 10s webcomics. + My favorite webcomics were xkcd (which I discovered at the time Vodka +was published - 2015-05-22, I guess) and MegaTokyo (which I discovered on +xkcd's site footer). MegaTokyo taught me leetspeek and a ton of weaboo culture, +and I still love the common fantasy of being stranded in a metropolitan area +and being forced to just Figure It Out. Later I also read TwoKinds, Savestate, +Junior Scientist Power Hour, and others. + + I would be thoroughly shocked if I found anything older than 2014 that +I could paste onto here. My life only really began when I turned 18, anyway. + + 2023-01-04 Karl and Will watched Captain James Cook sit in his recliner, seeming