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2023-01-09

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@ -16,6 +16,291 @@ ideas' witlessness;
ideas' witnesses; ideas' witnesses;
ideas- ideas-
2023-01-09
1000 lines since the last Ted story?
Minerva and Ron sat silent in the car. Ron focused on driving while
Minerva frowned at the horizon.
"We should have stayed there and made sure he got help."
"Help? What help is there for him? It's a miracle he didn't end up
killing anyone. I know it's my 'duty' as manager to make sure the store's safe
but the guys'll fill in everything for the cops and EMTs and Ted'll get put
away in a place where he can't do more harm. That was a traumatic event,
Minerva. I want something to take the edge off and I wanna forget the fire and
Ted ever happened."
Minerva looked at the steering weel. "That's not a healthy coping
mechanism, you know."
Ron stared into the horizon. "Oh, fuck off. If you thought any
differently than I did you wouldn't have gotten in the car." They started to
accelerate.
Ted had been watching the second building burn that day for probably
half an hour before he heard footsteps in the brush behind him. "You rat
bastard!"
Ted turned around to find a police officer with his gun already drawn.
"Oh. Hi. Are cops allowed to swear?"
The officer's hands' tremble was slight but visible. "Ted."
Ted read the officer's name tag. "Jack?"
"Tom. Tom Jack. You were at my brother's Christmas party."
Ted remembered a Tally Jack with which he worked. Tally invited Ted to
his Christmas party about three months prior and Ted at the time regretted
showing up. Being beaten with blessings and suffocated by songs playing in
background commercials. Every present had a logo and everybody already knew the
brands. Ted was the odd one out, as usual. "Tom."
"How could you? You could have killed all of your co-workers - why burn
down the office? You could have killed my brother." Tom's voice quivered.
Ted tilted his head and thought for a moment. "Nobody died. Would have
been cooler if they all did, yeah." He smiled softly.
Officer Jack, now angry, gripped his gun with both hands. "I could
arrest you, and the judge would give you a sentence, but that wouldn't be
justice. If you got out you'd just do this again, wouldn't you?" Ted nodded.
"Me killing you right now is justice. To Hell with the consequences."
Ted stood and watched the officer staring into his eyes but only
reciprocated in the same way a doll or teddy bear makes eye contact. Without
presence.
"So." Tom exhaled. "Goodbye." Tom braced for Ted's reaction.
There was none. Tom squared his soldiers. "Okay."
Ted finally reacted. "Car."
"What?" And then it hit Tom with all two tons of force; an ambulance
driven under the influence. Its brakes squealed but the tires couldn't catch
the dry grass and the ambulance sucked Tom under where he was run over by all
four wheels before being spit out on the other side ten seconds from death and
with his top ten most vital organs all perforated in one way or another. "Man."
Ted watched the light leave Tom's eyes as the ambulance driver
staggared out of the vehicle. Tom in terms of presentation wasn't too gruesome,
though death did have somewhat of an effect on his composure. It struck Ted as
a boring dead body.
The driver put his hands on the sides of his head. "Oh man, oh man, oh
man..." Ted was surprised he hadn't been the one hit but then remembered he
didn't care, and that the ambulance driver wasn't on fire.
"Can you hold still for a second?"
The driver paused and looked at Ted. "...What?"
Arson Ted is my favorite character.
2023-01-08
What I found in Flipnote Studio 3D for my Nintendo 3DS:
- 2019-09-25 0646: 9 frames. Bouncing ball demo.
- 2019-10-11 1736: 28 frames. Bouncing ball demo (the ball is liquid).
- 2019-12-16 1304: 30 frames. The word "FUCK" turns into strings and
falls onto the floor. It recollects as
a heart with "YOU" in the middle.
- 2011-01-01 2110: 60 frames. A stick figure falls into the ground and
(likely a clock leaves an impression in the snow; climbs
issue) out. Letters appear above them: "SOVIETS
WITHOUT A PARACHUTE (tm)
- 2011-09-30 1004: 4 frames. A stick figure masturbating.
(likely a clock
issue)
- 2020-11-09 2257: 55 frames. A stick figure waits at a dinner table
holding a fork and knife, wearing a bib.
Another stick figure slides a dish to the
other end of the table. The first stick
figure looks down and their mouth extends
into crocodile-like jaws before they take
a bite out of the entire section of the
table with the dish. The second stick
figure extends their mouth likewise and
smiles.
- 2020-11-10 2302: 2 frames. A small drawing of a teddy bear next to
the shaky words くまちゃん: <BR />
「ACAB」.
- 2020-11-16 1746: 2 frames. Words on top of a flashing yellow and
white background: i <3 LOOTERS.
Today I tried playing Professor Layton and the Curious Village for the
Nintendo DS. It was too hard and I've given up. Half the puzzles are total
bogus (you have one match and want to heat your bathtub, start a fire, and
light your lamp; which do you light first?.. your match). The story looks good
and I like the FMV cutscenes. Maybe I'll find an edit of all of them on-line.
I rediscovered Paper Airplane Chase (DSiWare) which I had when I was a
very small child on my DSi XL. I played it a lot and enjoyed it but now it
looks to me like it's probably an asset flip of some part of another game.
Maybe WarioWare?
In total people owe me $545. I'm hoping I can get that by the time next
month's rent is due.
/home/trinity/Pictures/the_end_of_the_world.webm (2021-03-04 2104; 3991 KB;
origin unknown)
00:00: A picture of Tim and Moby from MobyMax.
00:00: A picture of Captain Underpants.
00:01: A picture of a Nintendo Wii.
00:02: The poster for Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (2011).
00:02: A screenshot from PAPA's TACO MIA.
00:03: A picture of a kid with outstretched hands displaying
Sillybandz.
00:03: Bodycam footage of an officer shooting a figure in the desert.
Dated 2018-10-10 1454.
00:04: Video of a police officer shooting a man in the street. The
police officer behind him is held back by a bystander.
00:04: Video of a TSA agent searching a child for weapons.
00:05: Video of another TSA agent searching a toddler in a wheelchair
for weapons.
00:06: A screen capture of a computer system using facial recognition
to track school class attendance.
00:06: A screenshot from a TSA body scanning computer.
00:07: A Department of Defense press release showing 3D render of an
"active denial system".
00:08: Footage from a massacre at a mosque in Christchurch, New
Zealand.
00:09: A screen capture of a computer system tracking the positions of
students at a school.
00:09: Footage of a police officer pulling a police canine off of a
figure.
00:10: A picture of a poster at a school. Visible is a yellow smiley
face with "Smile" above and "You're on camera!" below. To the
right visible is the following fragment:
Our new bus
you have a sa
We have pros
and graffiti on
(italic) You are being
(italic) bus. So just sit
WE WILL P
OR
00:10: A snippet from Sunday Today with Willie Geist, headline: JEFFREY
EPSTEIN'S DEATH LEAVES ANGER AND QUESTIONS.
2023-01-07
2022-05-04
Orientation
Olive arrived the next day at 9 o'clock antemeridian having been
informed of the time she'd start work two hours prior via electronic mail. She
entered the restaurant via the two sets of glass double doors and walked to the
counter.
"Hi, I'm Olive, I'm here for my first day of work here."
The kid at the counter looked like they hadn't slept in weeks. "Hi
Olive, I'll go get the manager." They disappeared and returned from the back of
the restaurant which didn't seem to be lit, accompanied by a man Olive hadn't
met. He grimaced in an attempt to smile. "Hi Olive. Usually Paul would be here
but he's out sick."
"Sick? I spoke with him at length yesterday in his office should I
quarantine?"
"No, the only thing of Paul's that was contagious was his smile." The
man grimaced again. "Come with me, I'll show you the kitchen."
Olive, lead by the new supervisor, followed into the dim kitchen, lit
by a single red-tinted bulb. Another kid, apparently lacking more sleep than
the first, stood at a tall stainless steel table on which four machines sat. On
the far right was the paper dispenser; it dispensed paper wrappers for the
burgers, operated by button press. The bun dispenser, operated by lever,
deposited refined-grain sesame seed buns of 12 centimeter diameter, the bottom
landing on one corner of the paper and the top landing on another. The patty
dispenser, operated by plunging lever, was a conveyor belt that lead to the
kitchen from nowhere immediately discernible to Olive. On metal wires it would
push patties, two at a time, to the table. The final machine dispensed an
orange mixture (that smelled like cheese and ketchup) and was operated by flip
lever flipped one way, it dispensed enough syrup for one burger, flipped the
other way, it dispensed enough for another. Shik-shik, puk-puk, hrnnnnn, click.
The kid at the table made two burgers at a time before wrapping them and
sending them out.
Next to the table, on the red tiled floor, was a bucket of waste. Olive
gestured to it. "Do you do composting?"
"Oh, no, of course not. We need to count out waste. How many burgers
tossed, how many buns tossed, et cetera. We've had issues with employees
stealing product."
"Oh." Olive stared in the bucket. It held a soup of cheese/ketchup,
grease, mushed bread, and dissolving wrappers. "You count out everything in
there?"
"Yup, that's not exactly my favorite part of this job." The supervisor
turned to the table kid. "Daniel, this is Olive."
"Hi Olive." Daniel turned back to his hell.
The supervisor turned back to Olive. "You'll be replacing Daniel. Watch
how he works so you know what you'll be doing."
Olive kept staring in the bucket. "Do you have any sort of official
procedure sheets?"
"Yes, but you aren't allowed to see them."
Olivia's eyes moved from the bucket to the conveyor. "Oh."
That was OK. Here's how I'd write it now:
Orientation
Olive arrived the next day at 900 on two hours'notice. She entered the
restaurant via two sets of glass double doors and walked to the counter.
Holding the register was a teenager who looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.
Olive read his nametag. Sam.
"Hi Sam, I'm Olive, I'm here for my first day of work here."
"Hi Olive, I'll go get the manager." He disappeared into the back of
the restaurant, which Olive noticed was lit dimly if at all, and returned with
a man in a black uniform. The man grimaced in an attempt to smile. "Hi Olive.
Usually Paul, the manager with whom you spoke yesterday, would be here, but
he's out sick."
"Oh. Should I be here then? The interview was in an enclosed space and
for a little while." Sam brought out the bag for an order as they talked. He
pulled a receipt off a clip hanging from one of the shelves behind him, strafed
over to the soda fountain, and started pouring drinks. A set of hands pushed a
burger onto the other shelf and then receded back into the darkness.
"No, it's not contagious - fortunately. Plus the restuarant is very
well ventilated. The only thing of Paul's that was contagious was his smile."
The man grimaced again. Olive noticed the use of past tense. "Come with me,
I'll show you the kitchen."
Olive, lead by the supervision, stepped behind the counter, between the
two stainless steel shelves, carefully through a brief corridor between shelves
holding room-temperature ingredients, and followed around the end of the shelf
on the right to the small kitchen which she noticed was lit by a single red
incandescent bulb. Another teenager stood at a waist-level stainless steel
table onto which four machines dispensed paper wrappers, sesame-seed buns, beef
patties, and some sort of sauce. Four tubes ran to the table; two from the
floor and one each from the ceiling and a refrigerator-sized machine behind the
kid that had a large steel tube chimney vent also routed towards, eventually,
the sky. The kid at the table made a sandwich in a rhythmic beat.
Shik-shik. The paper dispenser was a box sort of shaped like a printer
with a large black button that used the mechanical force of the button press to
separate and spit out the burger wrapper. The box extended past the edge of the
table and a large stainless steel tube extended from its bottom through the
floor. The papers had red splotches on them, like there was an accident in
printing.
Puk-puk. The bun dispenser was a tube that ran down from the ceiling
towards the table with a lever on the front. The lever rotated a gear inside
the tube so it could dispense a single twelve-centimeter sesame seed bun,
fluffy enough to not be damaged upon hitting the bun wrapper.
Hrnnnnn. The patty dispenser, operated by foot pedal, was a conveyer
belt within a thick tube that carried a freshly-broiled hamburger patty; the
Durmer Burger signature patty, in fact. It came pre-seasoned.
Click. The sauce dispenser resembled a sink faucet, with a tube a
couple centimeters in diameter running from a valve in the floor under the
table to the hook-shaped dispenser section. On the front it had a flip lever -
flipped one way, it dispensed enough syrup for one burger, flipped the other
way, it dispensed enough for another. The large handle made a gentle but
audible click as it toggled. The signature Durmer Burger sauce was orange and
smelled to Olive like a mix of cheese and ketchup but she figured it would be
naive of her to assume that was all it was.
Shik-shik. Puk-puk. Hrnnnnn. Click. Then he wrapped them and pushed
them through the shelf into the light behind it.
Next to the table, on the red tiled floor, was a bucket, a third full,
of various decomposing ingredients. Olive pointed at it and turned to the
manager. "Do you do composting?"
"Oh, no, not here." He chuckled, which came out as a low growl. "We
count out waste to make sure the inventory sums out. A couple years ago we had
some problems with an employee stealing a ton of stuff from here so it's just
in case it happens again. Probably not really necessary but it's what the
higher-ups want."
"Oh." Olive stared in the bucket. It held a soup of sauce, grease,
the remnants of some buns, and slowly-dissolving wrappers. "You count out
everything in there?"
"Yeah. Not exactly sunshine and roses." The supervisor spoke a little
louder. "Daniel."
The table teen, presumably Daniel, looked up from making sandwiches.
"This is Olive."
Daniel looked towards Olive's knees. "Hi Olive." He turned back to his
table.
The manager turned back to Olive. "You'll be replacing Daniel. Watch
how he works so you know what you'll be doing."
Olive kept staring in the bucket. "Do you have any sort of procedure
sheets anywhere?"
"Probably. I've only seen glimpses. They keep it under wraps. This is
more sort of a word-of-mouth, creative job. You do things the best you can."
"Alright, cool."
I don't like chocolate.
2023-01-06 2023-01-06
2022-05-04 2022-05-04