2024-05-09

homepage

@@ -525,6 +525,152 @@ pre { /* DRY who? */
 }
 
 
+/blah/2024-05-09.html
+
+: poetry i wrote while high at work
+
+we're gonna end up
+the lesbian stereotype:
+two girls "friends with benefits"
+sharing an apartment and a life
+-
+my gloves smell like you
+you forgot to give them back
+and left them in your car
+I won't wash them. is that wack?
+-
+you said my eyes were pretty
+I said yours were too
+your green eyes dilated
+when they met my hazel hue
+-
+one time we kissed in your car
+but then you worried that I'd leave
+because friendships last forever
+but our loves don't last a week
+
+our lease goes on five years
+and we're sharing a 1-bedroom
+and when the dawn shines in the window
+the light seems to bend towards you
+
+I
+when the driver raises his hand into the cabin air
+and the thumb is pointed up and index pointed at you
+and one hand is on the wheel the other reaching behind
+but then the pointer jerks up and the driver says boom
+when your pistol's in your holster and your holster's at your hip
+and nobody paid to train you so you fiddle with the piece
+but the gun goes off and there's a bullet in the door
+you know this job won't end without you meeting the polive
+
+II
+hit & run & come & go & shoot to kill & hit the floor
+& smash & grab & dash & fuck the pigs are here man
+
+[jan][ali], [o][kama]
+[jan][ali], [o][kute]
+[tan][pali][sina][li][pona]
+[o][tawa][ala]
+
+I had too much last night (I feel like shit)
+and I'm so dizzy in the morning (yeah, I'm still feeling it)
+the hands on my watch keep making their rounds
+watching me (I woke up wacked out)
+
+maybe I had too much last night
+water isn't helping my skull feel less tight
+I'm dizzy and unsteady and I keep falling down
+it's my own damn fault I woke up wacked out
+senses wrecked I reckon time is slipping in its place
+every moment lasts forever but my watch says it's so late
+if this is my due reckoning I'm sorry it had to come now
+because I was so fucking high in the sky that I woke up wacked out
+
+III
+all we are is two old country folks
+in this big ol' city bar downing two rum and cokes
+I'm flirting with you as you flirt with my demise;
+holding my wrist up to your blade while I gaze into your eyes
+IV
+when my blood runs down my arm, babe
+don't you dare waste a drop
+put your red lips up to my crimson vein
+and drain me
+
+I
+you hate it when I call you baby
+I hate it when you call my phone
+you say it's infantilizing
+I say we should talk when I'm stoned
+II
+when we went to the pub together
+we asked if our warmth would last forever
+but in our hearts didn't last the embers
+why do we go back to this cask to remember
+that
+
+V
+no, it could never be that easy
+don't even dare to hope
+Spy Vs Spy washed up in Reno
+emo, I put vodka in my cappuccinos
+at the bar
+VI
+and all we are is two old country folks
+in a big old city bar drinking two rum and cokes
+and if I slipped a poison drip, dropped into your draught,
+could you slip a tab into a kiss so I forget you not
+
+we're in a cloudy parking lot
+looking through the windshield at the twilight
+at the clouds in the parking lot
+X
+in a cloudy parking lot
+snow falling from the sky
+the dusk already fallen
+and the phosphors shedding light
+the smell of freshly fallen
+chills linger in the night
+you pull your arms together
+pretending you don't have moistened eyes
+the silent snow deafens us
+and both our ears so loudly whine
+I trodded thrice and then I turned back
+and I softly asked you why
+
+
+/blah/2024-05-08.html
+
+I should be less heteronormative, cisnormative, and mononormative. It's kind of
+funny that I am sometimes all of these things despite being gay trans and poly.
+Well, my polyamory is complicated; I'd be totally fine dating multiple people
+but don't have the energy to be able to spend on something like that.
+Functionally it's more like nihilamory, like I'm nihilamorous. I've dated
+multiple people before and it kind of sucked but that was on me. I'm rambly
+because I spent the last couple days between high and nearly sober. It's harder
+to doubt whether or not I am gay (I fuck chicks) or "validly" trans (I don't
+give a shit) but I do feel weird calling myself poly when I have the capacity
+to date 0 people right now.
+
+
+/blah/2024-05-07.html
+
+: in the wee hours of the morning...
+
+I'm in the car with people I know very well on cruise control at 80MPH heading
+to the Denver International Airport to send one of our vessels on its way. I'm
+thoroughly caffeinated and 210 minutes before a shift starts and got blazed
+last night and am still feeling it a littlw bit.
+
+I got my ClockworkPi uConsole and it is my daily driver. It is a really
+excellent solid piece of hardware, replacing the Aspire One comfortably. It's
+an upgrade in terms of portability, durability, compatibility (USB-C instead of
+barrel jack charging), and especially power consumption. The keyboard is slow
+to use but I can dig out my HHKB for long term typing and the trackball and
+ABXY are very comfortable to use.
+
+
 /blah/2024-04-18.html
 
 First doctor's appointment since 2022 or so, which doesn't seem like a long