2024-04-18

homepage

@@ -525,6 +525,131 @@ pre { /* DRY who? */
 }
 
 
+/blah/2024-04-18.html
+
+First doctor's appointment since 2022 or so, which doesn't seem like a long
+time in numbers but feels like a world ago. Last time I had a doctor's
+appointment Usagi covered kitchen for me and I left [...] at noon and walked up
+Pine Street to the brick and sunshine and sterile interiors to go to the
+pediatrician, who was a nurse practitioner (is that how you spell that?)
+filling in for Jonathan who had seen me the previous dozen or so years, which
+means a lot more when you're 18. This time [...] and [...] are probably in the
+kitchen and I'm in a college hospital in a city - was - and got my shit checked
+out by a nurse, college student, and nurse practicioner (is that how you spell
+that?).
+
+My friends really want me to see a therapist. So did the nurse practishuhner -
+[...] kept me honest when filling out the mental health forms and apparently
+they did not indicate such a hot pink sparkly life as I lead. They were also
+more concerned about my chronic short- and long-term memory loss than I am, and
+recommended Aquaphor for the thing happening on my foot. I got prescribed
+patches for estrogen because I want my tits to get even bigger (they are pretty
+big right now, and would be described so even on a cis woman) and because I
+forget the sublingual tablets fairly often. I also feel worried about brushing
+my teeth after holding them under my tongue and never remember to do so before-
+hand. I've never been that great at remembering to brush my teeth.
+
+I was blah-bbing around when I had my last doctor's appointment. Goodness.
+
+Before today the last time I had any pizza was February 2023 I think, and I
+think I had Domino's with [...] and [...] in [...]'s room. When I look back it
+all seems so flat, like it happened so fast. But at the time I was amazed at
+how slowly time moved. Now time races by me.
+
+I saw Good Will Hunting today. Cool to hear Elliot Smith (is that who that
+was?) in the flick. It made me miss Maine less. The South Boston slums look a
+lot like Lewiston. Today a lot of the Coloradan doctors were surprised I came
+from Maine. I have a Mehnn accint, jus'sligh'ly, baht it prahbahbly sahnds like
+a New Englund accent to the untrained ear. Got a ton of labs done. Estrogen,
+testosterone, blood sugar, other shit I forgot to read. They laid me down so I
+didn't pass out like that other time where I came to thinking I was in Five
+Nights at Freddy's. I accidentally fasted for it because I was on a low-carb
+diet and didn't know what to eat and so had nothing to eat - I quit, today, at
+Marco's when we got two large pizzas and three free fountain drinks and I drank
+a Dr. Pepper, a Mug root beer, and a half-and-half of both just to see what it
+would taste like.
+
+The nurse practishinner really wanted me to take a psyche eval. I said I was
+probably fine and probably wasn't depressed or anxious. [...] gave them a funny
+look while I said it.
+
+Last night I said some things to my friends that felt mean, and I wish I
+didn't. They said it seemed pretty normal to them which is what feels
+especially bad. For the first time in a good while I don't have any particular
+urge to get high.
+
+My blood pressure was good, weight is 192lbs, height is 72.5in with sandals on.
+My Maine state ID issued 2022-09-19 said my weight was 215lbs so that's 20lbs
+in 1.5 years. Maybe in five years I'll feel comfortable going to the beach. The
+only time I've ever felt comfortable in the water is when [...] and I went
+skinny dipping at night in Winthrop.
+
+Boston is to New England what Colorado Springs is to Colorado. But Denver has
+more notable adjacent towns like Aurora; Boston has Worcester (with the world's
+shittiest Burger King) and Reading (with the world's biggest pricks). I'm not
+sure what Colorado Springs has near it.
+
+I wonder if I have any STDs or STIs or diabetes or anything. I'm scared
+shitless of HIV or diabetes. I was roommates with a guy with HIV and he was
+cool and took his precautions and had no problem talking about what it was like
+with me, though society is unkind to those who are HIV+ and he wouldn't talk
+about it with just anyone. And plenty of people have diabetes and ration
+insulin and die so I guess I have that to look forward to if that happens. But
+these lifelong illnesses aren't death sentences anymore, especially for people
+with Medicaid, so I'll be alright either way hopefully. Diana was right - give
+your HIV+ friend a hug.
+
+Can you believe I can write all this shit and can't get myself to work on the
+book I'm writing?
+
+
+/blah/2024-04-17.html
+
+Trip is cancelled. [...] vetoed it for the following reasons:
+- LSD conflicts with packages already installed in my system and may result in
+  instability.
+- I have a history of moderate drug abuse; it is hard for me to cope with
+  things without some substance and I spend little of my time sober.
+
+I keep thinking about [...]. It's terrifying how many people would be hurt if I
+died. I don't want to end my life in bad kharma.
+
+I disagree with the notion that kharma is retributive; that it seeks to punish
+those that deserve it. Kharma is an observation, a description. Kharma is the
+realization that intentionally malicious action causes harm both to others and
+one's self, an almost Newtonian law for that impossible-to-analyze humanity.
+
+One time when I was 16 or 17 my parents noticed I had a pimple on my arm and
+boxed me into the bathroom and popped it. I broke down sobbing at the
+realization that, though they had had almost no positive contribution to my
+life and I barely even knew them as people, having been raised mostly by my
+grandparents and 4chan/b/, I still hadn't earned my bodily autonomy from them,
+and truly there was nothing I could do to get away from them without attracting
+the police or whoever else they would call to come looking for me until I
+turned 18. I was almost like their housecat, more a housecat than a kid. The
+conditions of the household deteriorated over the course of my childhood. Their
+cat, Gator, stopped eating and apparently went into shock after my parents kept
+yelling at him and spritzing him with a water bottle. He was their stand-in
+after I went numb to their yelling at me. I sort of envy people whose parents
+were nice to them, though I don't spread the bad kharma. When I'm high and
+people tell me about how their parents did something loving for them sometimes
+I just break the fuck down.
+
+In the (literal) closet with the morning sun starting to trickle in after
+another night of sleeplessness when we were 15 or 16 Usagi and I messaged over
+Instagram. I don't have the stubs anymore so here's a recollection.
+[U]: Have you ever noticed people with adverse experiences are the most likely
+     to turn out LGBT+?
+[3]: Yeah but I've never really thought about why.
+[U]: There's the neocon view that getting your shit fucked up causes your brain
+     to be fucked up. But I think it's just because it's harder to lie to
+     yourself when you're in a really bad place. You have to be honest with
+     yourself or you won't make it out of there.
+
+I came out to them as trans either a little bit before or a little bit after
+that.
+
+
 /blah/2024-04-15.html
 
 Cyberpunk diet is low carb and high protein. I pray to Snoop Dogg that I may be
@@ -10729,6 +10854,8 @@ WIDTH="88px"
 
 
 /blah/Prefix	verbatim
+<	&lt;
+>	&rt;
 
 <!DOCTYPE html>
 <HEAD>

peek/peek.1

@@ -12,68 +12,96 @@ peek
 .RB [ program
 .RB [ arguments... ]])
 
-.SH USAGE
+.SH DESCRIPTION
 
 Peek reads input from standard input with terminal echo disabled, which may be
 useful to prevent secrets being spied upon by adversaries watching a user's
 screen.
-.PP
-The
+
+.SH OPTIONS
+
 .B -1
-option limits input to a single line (stopping when the newline character is
-input).
-.PP
-The
+.RS
+Limits input to a single line (stopping when the newline character is read).
+.RE
+
+.B -e
+.RS
+Configures peek to output to standard error.
+.RE
+
 .B -n
-option prints ("iNcludes") the terminating character in output; this is only
-useful when combined with the
+.RS
+Prints ("iNcludes") the terminating character in outputs. This is nonsensical
+if not combined with the
 .B -1
 option.
-.PP
-The
+.RE
+
 .B -o
-and
-.B -e
-options configure Peek to output to standard output and/or standard error
-respectively and the
+.RS
+Configures peek to output to standard output.
+.RE
+
 .B -p
-option configures Peek to output to the standard input of an external program,
-e.g. a password hashing utility.
-The
-.B -p
-option is provided as a convenience and to avoid potential insecure programmer
-error in scripts.
-.PP
-The
+.RS
+Configures peek to pipe output to an executed child program, e.g. a password
+hashing utility. This is provided as a convenience and to avoid potential
+insecurities resulting from programmer error in scripts.
+.RE
+
 .B -t
-option makes peek exit if not run in a terminal.
+.RS
+Makes peek exit if not run within a terminal.
+.RE
 
 .SH DIAGNOSTICS
 
 Peek prints an error message and exits with the appropriate status from
-sysexits(3) if it encounters an error.
+sysexits.h(3) if it encounters an unrecoverable error.
+
+Peek tries to handle the signal SIGINT (^C) to ensure the user's terminal is
+still usable after premature termination; if the signal can't be handled, it
+prints an error message and continues. If peek is interrupted, it exits
+unsuccessfully, without an error message.
 
 .SH BUGS
 
 Accepting secrets in shell scripts is not adviseable in any context.
-.PP
-The user's environment passed through to the program used with the
-.B -p
-option and their PATH environment variable is used to locate the program.
+
 If used in a safety-critical application it must be ensured that the
-environment with which peek is used is not compromised. For example, using
-POSIX env(1) to set a known, safe PATH, and htpasswd(1) from Apache's utilities
-package to hash the input with bcrypt:
-.PP
-.R env -i PATH=/usr/bin peek -1p htpasswd -nBi '' | cut -d : -f 2
-.PP
+environment with which peek is used is not compromised.
+
 On systems that support it, the ioctl(2) command TIOCSTI can be used to insert
 characters into the standard input going to peek. This doesn't allow snooping
 but can be used for general mischief.
 
+.SH EXAMPLES
+
+This is a command line for POSIX sh(1), using POSIX env(1) to discard the
+environment except for PATH, and htpassword(1) from Apache's utilities to hash
+the input with the bcrypt algorithm, printing the resulting hash:
+
+.RS
+.R $ env -i PATH="$PATH" peek -1tp htpasswd -nBi _ | cut -d : -f 2
+.RE
+
+This is a POSIX sh(1) command line that lets a user blindly write into a text
+file, only able to see written lines. Some writers have the habit of
+prematurely revising their work and use tools like this to prevent it:
+
+.RS
+.R $ echo Input ^D to quit. && peek -eot >writing.txt
+.RE
+
+.SH AUTHOR
+
+Written by DTB <trinity@trinity.moe>.
+
 .SH COPYRIGHT
 
-Public domain.
+Copyright (c) 2023-2024 DTB. License AGPLv3+: GNU AGPL version 3 or later
+<https://gnu.org/licenses/gpl.html>.
 
 .SH SEE ALSO
 

peek/peek.c

@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
-#include <errno.h> /* errno */
-#include <stdio.h> /* fprintf(3), getc(3), putc(3), stderr, stdin, stdout, EOF,
-                    * NULL */
-#include <stdlib.h> /* size_t */
+#include <signal.h> /* sigaction(2), struct sigaction, SIGINT */
+#include <stdio.h> /* fprintf(3), getc(3), perror(3), putc(3), stderr, stdin,
+                    * stdout, EOF, NULL */
+#include <stdlib.h> /* exit(3), size_t, EXIT_FAILURE */
 #include <string.h> /* strerror(3) */
 #if !defined EX_OK || !defined EX_OSERR || !defined EX_USAGE
 #	include <sysexits.h>
@@ -10,12 +10,34 @@
 #include <unistd.h> /* dup(2), execvp(3), fork(2), getopt(3), isatty(3),
                      * pipe(2), STDIN_FILENO */
 
+static int oserr(char *s){ perror(s); return EX_OSERR; }
+
 static char *program_name = "peek";
 
+static int usage(char *s){
+	fprintf(stderr, "Usage: %s (-1enot) (-p [program [arguments...]])\n",
+		s == NULL ? program_name : s);
+	return EX_USAGE;
+}
+
+/* Restores terminal echo; otherwise when a user ^Cs the terminal would
+ * continue to not display typed text. If sig isn't zero, this will terminate
+ * the program. */
+void restore_echo(int sig){
+	static struct termios t;
+
+	tcgetattr(STDIN_FILENO, &t);
+	t.c_lflag |= ECHO;
+	tcsetattr(STDIN_FILENO, TCSAFLUSH, &t);
+
+	if(sig != 0)
+		exit(EXIT_FAILURE);
+	else
+		return;
+}
+
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]){
-	int c;
 	int eof;
-	size_t i;
 	char include_eof;
 	FILE *outputs[] = {
 		NULL /* stdout */,
@@ -23,13 +45,15 @@ int main(int argc, char *argv[]){
 		NULL /* -p */
 	};
 	int p[2] = {0, 0};
-	struct termios t;
 
 	if(argc < 1)
-		goto usage;
+		usage(argv[0]);
 
 	eof = EOF;
 	include_eof = 0;
+	{ /* options parsing */
+		int c;
+
 		while((c = getopt(argc, argv, "1enopt")) != -1)
 			switch(c){
 			case '1':	eof = '\n';          break;
@@ -37,10 +61,8 @@ int main(int argc, char *argv[]){
 			case 'o':	outputs[0] = stdout; break;
 			case 'e':	outputs[1] = stderr; break;
 			case 'p':
-			if(pipe(p) != 0)
-				goto die;
-			else if((outputs[2] = fdopen(p[1], "ab")) == NULL)
-				goto die;
+				if(pipe(p) != 0 || (outputs[2] = fdopen(p[1], "ab")) == NULL)
+					return oserr(argv[0]);
 				break;
 			case 't':
 				if(isatty(STDIN_FILENO) != 1){
@@ -48,56 +70,68 @@ int main(int argc, char *argv[]){
 						" (option -t specified)\n", argv[0]);
 					return EX_USAGE;
 				}
-		default:  goto usage;
+			default:	return usage(argv[0]);
+			}
 	}
 
-	/* If -p is used there must be additional arguments. Getopt(3) wouldn't
+	/* If -p is used there must be additional arguments. getopt(3) wouldn't
 	 * work for this because optarg would have to be one string to give to
 	 * system(3) or an equivalent and it would be a mess of parsing and
 	 * security issues. Any intended usage works with this slightly funkier
 	 * argument parsing, unintended usages work as happy coincidence. */
-	if((argc > optind) == (outputs[2] == 0)){
-usage:		fprintf(stderr, "Usage: %s (-1enot)"
-			" (-p [program [arguments...]])\n",
-			argv[0] == NULL ? program_name : argv[0]);
-		return EX_USAGE;
-	}
+	if((argc > optind) == (outputs[2] == 0))
+		return usage(argv[0]);
 
 	if(outputs[2] != 0)
 		switch(fork()){
 		case 0:
-			if(close(p[1]) == 0
-					&& dup2(p[0], STDIN_FILENO)
-						== STDIN_FILENO)
-				execvp(argv[optind], argv + optind);
+			if(close(p[1]) == 0 && dup2(p[0], STDIN_FILENO) == STDIN_FILENO)
+				execvp(argv[optind], &argv[optind]);
 		case -1:
-			goto die;
+			return oserr(argv[0]);
 		default:
 			if(close(p[0]) != 0)
-				goto die;
+				return oserr(argv[0]);
 		}
 
-	/* terminal echo */
+	{ /* install signal handler for ^C to avoid terminal phooeyness */
+		struct sigaction act = { 0 };
+
+		act.sa_handler = restore_echo;
+		/* This error isn't terminating because the worst that happens is some
+		 * terminal phooeyness if things go awry. */
+		if(sigaction(SIGINT, &act, NULL) != 0)
+			perror(argv[0]);
+	}
+	
+	{ /* banish terminal echo */
+		struct termios t;
+
 		tcgetattr(STDIN_FILENO, &t);
 		t.c_lflag ^= ECHO;
 		tcsetattr(STDIN_FILENO, TCSAFLUSH, &t);
+	}
+
+	{ /* actual input loop */
+		int c;
+		size_t i;
 
 		do{	if((c = getc(stdin)) != eof || include_eof)
 				for(i = 0; i < (sizeof outputs)/(sizeof *outputs); ++i)
-				if(outputs[i] != NULL
-						&& putc(c, outputs[i]) == EOF){
-					if(i == 2)
+					if(outputs[i] != NULL && putc(c, outputs[i]) == EOF){
+						if(outputs[i] != stdout && outputs[i] != stderr)
 							fclose(outputs[i]);
-					outputs[i] = 0;
+						outputs[i] = NULL;
 					}
 		}while(c != eof);
+	}
 
-	tcgetattr(STDIN_FILENO, &t);
-	t.c_lflag |= ECHO;
-	tcsetattr(STDIN_FILENO, TCSAFLUSH, &t);
+	restore_echo(0);
+	
+	if(outputs[2] /* -p */ != NULL){
+		fclose(outputs[2]);
+		close(p[1]);
+	}
 
 	return EX_OK;
-
-die:	fprintf(stderr, "%s: %s\n", argv[0], strerror(errno));
-	return EX_OSERR;
 }