2023-02-23

homepage/blog

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+2023-02-22
+
+	I clocked in at work and washed my hands and scrubbed at my palms and
+tried to scratch the dirt off my flesh but it was UNDER my skin and I got my
+keys out of my pocket and started picking in to try to get it but then I was
+perforated and leaking hydraulic fluid and then
+
+	StackOverflow for writing (/b/)
+
+	Mainstream politics warning |\
+				____' \___________________________
+                               | Buttigieg got handed the one job |
+                               | Biden didn't think he could fuck |
+                               | up and still did?________________|
+
+	and then I clocked in at work and washed my hands only once and dried
+them with the towel and then went to my desk and then tried to log in to my
+workplace Microsoft account and then it didn't work so I tried typing harder
+but that didn't work either so I took the keyboard and
+
+	I miss the old #meth. #90skidsgetit
+
+	We stood outside as snow fell.
+	"So... when does this kick in?"
+	"I dunno. Eventually." didn't give me a lot of confidence that it
+would.
+	"Am I smoking it wrong?" I took a hit. Three seconds. Exhale.
+	"Three seconds is how long most people hold it. That's what I do."
+	Puff puff pass. I took my second hit. Three seconds. Exhale. "That's
+what I'm doing."
+	"You have to smoke a lot of a joint to get high. I think you just
+haven't smoked enough." He was nibbling his way through an edible while she and
+I took hits. 50mg.
+	"I mean, I smoked that roach, and I took a couple hits off that first
+joint. Isn't that enough?" I turned to her. She shrugged. Puff puff pass, back
+to me.
+	We were listening to Helena (My Chem) on her phone. It hit the chorus
+and I started dancing, probably poorly. Go white girl! "Maybe you have a
+naturally high tolerance and you need to smoke a ton to get high."
+	"Fucking hell." It had taken years for me to build up the nerve to try
+weed. Theoretically it can put me into psychosis. But I don't care anymore.
+Worst case scenario, I'm psychotic, I still act the same I just don't believe
+anything, same as I was for years. Hell years, years of my life I'll never get
+back. Estrogen be thy cure.
+
+	I don't remember how the subject changed.
+	"I don't even know if I can feel love anymore."
+	He was lost in the THC. She hadn't dropped out yet. "Neither can I.
+After my thing with [...] something just sort of broke. But it's freeing"
+	"Yeah. It kicks ass. Bitches ain't shit, and they don't have to be.
+You can't really trust anything nowadays."
+	"Yeah but it's fucked. [...] is the love of my life. And I don't love
+him."
+	"Yeah. But you like him. I'm talking to someone right now, no
+relationship or anything, and it's fucked because if they say they love me or
+anything I'm gonna have to give them the talk, like, my brain don't work no
+more."
+
+Left for dead and then they all died
+Didn't think I could kick it and then I survived
+Another psychic soldier get legitimate and hide
+The last gate keeper among memetic socialites
+
+	Questionable Content by Jeff Jacques is probably one of my biggest
+creative influences but I barely remember any of it now.
+
+	Holy shit, I don't remember writing any of that. Just took an edible so
+we'll see if that gets me high.
+
+[...]: I dunno... maybe try smoking more?
+[...]: Some people can have naturally high tolerances.
+[...]: That can't happen.
+[...]: Maybe you were high and didn't notice it.
+
+
 2023-02-21
 
 Lifetime performance review