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@ -525,6 +525,172 @@ pre { /* DRY who? */
}
/blah/2024-04-14.html
I saw bad stuff on the Internet yesterday and I wanna write about it. I at one
point had more to say but after some research I don't believe my point still
stands (I was going to argue that pedophilia, though much less common than it
used to be, is normal in our society; after reviewing statistics and
definitions I wouldn't say that is true). Here are some well-cited statistics
because otherwise my research would go to /dev/null (my brain only):
I Merriam-Webster defines pedophilia as "sexual perversion in which children
are the preferred sexual object"; specifically "a psychiatric disorder in
which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a
prepubescent child" (<https://merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pedophilia>).
2 Pedophilia is evidently common in the present day; nearly one in six men
surveyed (15.1%) of 1945 in a 2023 Australian study anonymously
self-reported sexual feelings towards children (<https://www.humanrights.
unsw.edu.au/sites/default/files/documents/Indentifying%20and%20
understanding%20child%20sexual%20offending%20behaviour%20and%20attitudes
%20among%20Australian%20men.pdf>).
As a side note: I skimmed the study and statistics collection and the survey
questions all seemed clear and direct. The results are much more damning than I
would expect. I remember, before this article came out, reading that one in six
men were pedophiles, but most figures I can find on-line are much lower,
particularly ones that are not the results of studies but instead speculation
by authorities.
I think people who sexually abuse children should be slaughtered, ideally
publicly. I don't believe in rehabilitation for child molesters. I'm not picky
about the means of doing so and I wouldn't prioritize "humane" (quick) methods.
ISIS-style beheading would be fine.
When I was 15 I knew someone my age who believed they were a prostitute and
regularly did cocaine; now I would call that child sexual assault and providing
drugs to a minor. She was socially isolated. I helped her with her math
homework in class and in a level in which we were expected to graph quadratic
functions on paper she was struggling with the concepts of variables and
exponents. The teacher in the class felt she was simply lazy - which is much
worse to me now than when I was in high school - and couldn't spend time
helping her understand these concepts. My peer wasn't able to stay after school
to catch up and even if she did I don't know if I could have at 15 taught
someone through multiple grade levels of maths. Her academics were being
jeopardized by her guardians who were either negligent or complicit in their
child being pimped out and given drugs. I don't remember if she graduated.
Child abuse leaves very deep scars. She wasn't the only one I knew who was
abused but her story ("her story" - I sound like a fucking prick. She was cool
and we hung out in the field during Gym and talked about the drugs we wanted to
try) stuck with me as particularly sad. Some of the people I knew who were
abused went on to needlessly harm others, perpetuating a cycle of abuse. Others
became social workers - hopefully, helping others work through their own
trauma.
This is what I remember when I see people on-line sharing not real pictures,
but drawings of child abuse, often idealizing the acts depicted. "Loli" and
"shota" porn coats in sugar some of the shittiest possible things that can
happen. Perhaps this isn't a revolutionary take; hopefully it is the most
common opinion on the matter. Children should be protected from harm. Imagery
that portrays child abuse as anything but horrifically evil is created and
shared by people who either don't understand the gravity of what it is they're
sharing (i.e. people who are minors themselves) or subhuman filth who should be
put before a firing squad.
There's this one board on a chan site that focuses on drawn, sexualized gore. I
don't really care to write about "guro" porn because I don't have gathered
thoughts on the matter or the ethics of its consumption. I find it nearly
impossible to browse the board because for every ten drawings of adults killing
each other in coitus there is one cartoon of a minor doing the same and, like a
bird hitting a pin feather when preening, I feel a sudden, sharp pain in my
heart. This is the area that used to feel empathy and now rarely lights up
anymore. I remember the hollow stares of some of my friends coming in to school
from the morning taking the bus from their personal hells that they called
their homes. Then I close the site and never go back to the thread I was
reading. I've done this about three times, each time returning after a longer
period than before, and yesterday when it happened again I closed the site and
I'm not opening it again. Honestly I should have known better than to return
after the first time.
There's a chan site, wirechan.org, that unlike the last one is actually good
and tends to have good people posting. Recently it was raided by a horde of
wild... pedophiles? I'm not familiar with that part of the Internet and don't
wanna be. Someone found a murderu.us XMPP advertisement I posted somewhere
(if I recall, wirechan/b/), joined #subgeneral, and wrote something in the chat
about sexually provocative kids and a -9 months age of consent. I learned how
to ban users and added more admins in case something like that ever happens
again, and I'm thankful pedophilic imagery wasn't posted in the chat. This is
why you can't put image uploads on murderu.us - I don't want CSAM on my server.
Immediately after they started posting, people in chat were making fun of them.
After they were banned the digs at what they said continued. murderu.us
participants are cool.
I know pedophilic content is common on the Internet where scum can collect in
moist, dark places and send spores drifting around the open air of the web that
give people the occasional fungal infection or lung condition. I know
pedophilia is common even among real human beings. I just have had a hard time
with this knowledge and I wanted to write about what about this was hard for me
to understand and why I get so angry at pedophilia whether demonstrated or
glorified. I've been in a bad mood today and I think these two things I saw on-
line were a part of it.
I've been trying to use shorter sentences and more punctuation to try to make
my writing more coherent but I'm not sure if this blahpost reads easily. I
think it would be hard to misconstrue my points though, which I wanted to be
sure of because miscommunication here would be pretty awful.
/blah/2024-04-13.html
ona | it
li lon | is
lukin | to the eye
la |
ona | it
li lon ala | is not
ona | it
li sona | knows
e ni | that
jan | people
li moku | are food
tawa ona | to it
ona | it
li moku pona | eats well
ona | it
li | is
lon ma lawa insa | in the inside of heads
isipin | thought
li pali | creates
e ona | it
tenpo ni | now
la sina sona | you know
e ona | it
tenpo ni | now
la ona | it
li sona | knows
e sina | you
o kon. o pilin e lawa sewi sina. ni li pona. ni li pona anu seme? o isipin ala
e ni, tan tenpo sina li lili mute. o tawa. sijelo sina li kalama. sijelo sina
li wile e tawa ala e utala ala e kon ike ala. o utala e wile pi sijelo sina.
there's this void inside that loves me
and it once wished i were well
and it's this void that's inside me
that's just there causing my deepest hell
it's silenced all of my cries
when i've tried to scream for help
but i still think i kinda like it
because it loves me like no one else
no
the lattice of its chaos marches on so far away
laying groundwork for my madness so that i know what to say
its rehearsal of internal conflict causing me slow decay
is etching my destruction onto the surface of my brain
That poem isn't complete nor are any this is BLAH we PUBLISH UNFINISHED WORKS
up in this bitch take yo ass back to SUBSTACK
/blah/2024-04-12.html
I'm high as hell.