2024-04-14
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@ -525,6 +525,172 @@ pre { /* DRY who? */
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/blah/2024-04-14.html
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I saw bad stuff on the Internet yesterday and I wanna write about it. I at one
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point had more to say but after some research I don't believe my point still
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stands (I was going to argue that pedophilia, though much less common than it
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used to be, is normal in our society; after reviewing statistics and
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definitions I wouldn't say that is true). Here are some well-cited statistics
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because otherwise my research would go to /dev/null (my brain only):
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I Merriam-Webster defines pedophilia as "sexual perversion in which children
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are the preferred sexual object"; specifically "a psychiatric disorder in
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which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a
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prepubescent child" (<https://merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pedophilia>).
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2 Pedophilia is evidently common in the present day; nearly one in six men
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surveyed (15.1%) of 1945 in a 2023 Australian study anonymously
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self-reported sexual feelings towards children (<https://www.humanrights.
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unsw.edu.au/sites/default/files/documents/Indentifying%20and%20
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understanding%20child%20sexual%20offending%20behaviour%20and%20attitudes
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%20among%20Australian%20men.pdf>).
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As a side note: I skimmed the study and statistics collection and the survey
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questions all seemed clear and direct. The results are much more damning than I
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would expect. I remember, before this article came out, reading that one in six
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men were pedophiles, but most figures I can find on-line are much lower,
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particularly ones that are not the results of studies but instead speculation
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by authorities.
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I think people who sexually abuse children should be slaughtered, ideally
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publicly. I don't believe in rehabilitation for child molesters. I'm not picky
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about the means of doing so and I wouldn't prioritize "humane" (quick) methods.
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ISIS-style beheading would be fine.
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When I was 15 I knew someone my age who believed they were a prostitute and
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regularly did cocaine; now I would call that child sexual assault and providing
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drugs to a minor. She was socially isolated. I helped her with her math
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homework in class and in a level in which we were expected to graph quadratic
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functions on paper she was struggling with the concepts of variables and
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exponents. The teacher in the class felt she was simply lazy - which is much
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worse to me now than when I was in high school - and couldn't spend time
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helping her understand these concepts. My peer wasn't able to stay after school
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to catch up and even if she did I don't know if I could have at 15 taught
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someone through multiple grade levels of maths. Her academics were being
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jeopardized by her guardians who were either negligent or complicit in their
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child being pimped out and given drugs. I don't remember if she graduated.
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Child abuse leaves very deep scars. She wasn't the only one I knew who was
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abused but her story ("her story" - I sound like a fucking prick. She was cool
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and we hung out in the field during Gym and talked about the drugs we wanted to
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try) stuck with me as particularly sad. Some of the people I knew who were
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abused went on to needlessly harm others, perpetuating a cycle of abuse. Others
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became social workers - hopefully, helping others work through their own
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trauma.
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This is what I remember when I see people on-line sharing not real pictures,
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but drawings of child abuse, often idealizing the acts depicted. "Loli" and
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"shota" porn coats in sugar some of the shittiest possible things that can
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happen. Perhaps this isn't a revolutionary take; hopefully it is the most
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common opinion on the matter. Children should be protected from harm. Imagery
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that portrays child abuse as anything but horrifically evil is created and
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shared by people who either don't understand the gravity of what it is they're
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sharing (i.e. people who are minors themselves) or subhuman filth who should be
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put before a firing squad.
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There's this one board on a chan site that focuses on drawn, sexualized gore. I
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don't really care to write about "guro" porn because I don't have gathered
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thoughts on the matter or the ethics of its consumption. I find it nearly
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impossible to browse the board because for every ten drawings of adults killing
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each other in coitus there is one cartoon of a minor doing the same and, like a
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bird hitting a pin feather when preening, I feel a sudden, sharp pain in my
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heart. This is the area that used to feel empathy and now rarely lights up
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anymore. I remember the hollow stares of some of my friends coming in to school
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from the morning taking the bus from their personal hells that they called
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their homes. Then I close the site and never go back to the thread I was
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reading. I've done this about three times, each time returning after a longer
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period than before, and yesterday when it happened again I closed the site and
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I'm not opening it again. Honestly I should have known better than to return
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after the first time.
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There's a chan site, wirechan.org, that unlike the last one is actually good
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and tends to have good people posting. Recently it was raided by a horde of
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wild... pedophiles? I'm not familiar with that part of the Internet and don't
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wanna be. Someone found a murderu.us XMPP advertisement I posted somewhere
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(if I recall, wirechan/b/), joined #subgeneral, and wrote something in the chat
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about sexually provocative kids and a -9 months age of consent. I learned how
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to ban users and added more admins in case something like that ever happens
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again, and I'm thankful pedophilic imagery wasn't posted in the chat. This is
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why you can't put image uploads on murderu.us - I don't want CSAM on my server.
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Immediately after they started posting, people in chat were making fun of them.
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After they were banned the digs at what they said continued. murderu.us
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participants are cool.
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I know pedophilic content is common on the Internet where scum can collect in
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moist, dark places and send spores drifting around the open air of the web that
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give people the occasional fungal infection or lung condition. I know
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pedophilia is common even among real human beings. I just have had a hard time
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with this knowledge and I wanted to write about what about this was hard for me
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to understand and why I get so angry at pedophilia whether demonstrated or
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glorified. I've been in a bad mood today and I think these two things I saw on-
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line were a part of it.
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I've been trying to use shorter sentences and more punctuation to try to make
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my writing more coherent but I'm not sure if this blahpost reads easily. I
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think it would be hard to misconstrue my points though, which I wanted to be
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sure of because miscommunication here would be pretty awful.
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/blah/2024-04-13.html
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ona | it
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li lon | is
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lukin | to the eye
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la |
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ona | it
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li lon ala | is not
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ona | it
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li sona | knows
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e ni | that
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jan | people
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li moku | are food
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tawa ona | to it
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ona | it
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li moku pona | eats well
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ona | it
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li | is
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lon ma lawa insa | in the inside of heads
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isipin | thought
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li pali | creates
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e ona | it
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tenpo ni | now
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la sina sona | you know
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e ona | it
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tenpo ni | now
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la ona | it
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li sona | knows
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e sina | you
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o kon. o pilin e lawa sewi sina. ni li pona. ni li pona anu seme? o isipin ala
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e ni, tan tenpo sina li lili mute. o tawa. sijelo sina li kalama. sijelo sina
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li wile e tawa ala e utala ala e kon ike ala. o utala e wile pi sijelo sina.
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there's this void inside that loves me
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and it once wished i were well
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and it's this void that's inside me
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that's just there causing my deepest hell
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it's silenced all of my cries
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when i've tried to scream for help
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but i still think i kinda like it
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because it loves me like no one else
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no
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the lattice of its chaos marches on so far away
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laying groundwork for my madness so that i know what to say
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its rehearsal of internal conflict causing me slow decay
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is etching my destruction onto the surface of my brain
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That poem isn't complete nor are any this is BLAH we PUBLISH UNFINISHED WORKS
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up in this bitch take yo ass back to SUBSTACK
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/blah/2024-04-12.html
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I'm high as hell.
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I'm high as hell.
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